the_codex: (Angst)
[personal profile] the_codex
Written for [livejournal.com profile] aiffe because after hearing her talk about Tahno, it wouldn't leave me alone. Spoilers for...well...the spoiler clips of "Aftermath."

Title: It's Permanent
Fandom: Legend of Korra
Pairing/Character: Tahno, Tahno/Korra if you squint
Rating: PG
Warnings: suicdal thoughts

Permanent.

It's permanent.


The words repeated in his head like one of the mantras he'd used in training. Every healer he'd been to had told him the same thing. Whatever Amon had done, it could not be undone. He would never bend so much a raindrop the rest of his life.

Thunder growled outside as he sat up against the wall next to the window, watching the rain slip down the glass as if it were taunting him. Who the fuck was he kidding? Of course it was taunting him. And it would be doing so the rest of his days. He could feel it, the absence of his gift like a hole in his chest that refused to close. Like losing a limb, only that limb was part of his mind.

No. Worse.

Like someone had cornered him in a dark alley, reached in with something very sharp and very painful and hollowed out his soul. As much as he wanted to just curl up on his bed and sob until the world ended, he couldn't even muster enough damns to give for tears. Everything important inside of him that made him Tahno had died, and now he just had to wait for his body to catch up.

What's the point of waiting?

He didn't really have a good answer for that, and he knew it. His life was effectively over, and nothing the afterlife could possibly throw at him would be worse than just...existing like this. He may as well get it overwith.

I know we're not exactly best friends...but I'm sorry Amon took your bending.

It was the most pleasantly awkward thing anyone had ever said to him. Maybe because it came from her. He knew the Avatar was supposed to have inhuman amounts of compassion, but that surprised even him. After everything he'd done to her and the Ferrets, she was sorry to see him like this. Rather than telling him he deserved it, and it was only Karma catching up with him. Because it totally was and he knew it. No matter how much he tried to deny it, to say he was a victim and Amon needed to go down, he knew he'd brought it on himself by abusing his gifts. It was only fair that he'd lose them.

His shoulders hunched in reflex at the thought. And he only realized when he felt something small and wet dripping onto his folded arms that he had enough damns to give after all.

He lost all concept of time then as thunder rumbled overhead and he hid his face against his knees, even if there was nobody in the room to see and judge him for it. He shook, from both cold and crying. It was so, so cold, and he didn't know why.

You gotta get him for me.

Now he knew. That was why he was waiting. He had to live to see the bastard go down, at least. After that? Who knew. But for now, that's what he was alive for. And he would help Korra take the guy down in any way his useless self could.

He looked up at the rain. A sad, bitter smile spread over his face.

See ya around...Avatar.
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